What Hurts A Little
by StrawberryCrush
Summary: Sam does a lot of thinking with music!


**A/N: This is something that has been in my head for a while now. I meant to write it after ILove You but, idk why, but I just wasn't in an iCarly mood then -_-. I hope you guys like it!**

**Disclaimer: Seddie isn't together anymore, enough said.**

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><p>What Hurts A Little<p>

Sam had decided to go home after school, despite Carly's unyielding protests. She just wasn't in the mood to go over to Bushwell.

She walked into the surprisingly clean room that Freddie had helped her clean and she did a decent job of keeping that way. The only exception was the clothing and fat cake wrappers on her bed. She strategically pushed them off, flopped down on the creaky bed, set her pear pod on shuffle, put it in the speakers on the bedside table, and looked up at the ceiling.

_Did I tell you I knew your name  
><em>_But it seems I've lost it_

"Oh hell no!" Sam cursed the song and promptly leaned over and pressed the next button.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
><em>_That don't bother me  
><em>_I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
><em>_I'm not afraid to cry every once in while  
><em>_Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
><em>_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
><em>_But that's not what gets me_

She closed her eyes and found herself getting lost in the words.

_What hurts the most  
><em>_Was being so close  
><em>_And having so much to say  
><em>_And watching you walk away  
><em>_Never knowing what could have been  
><em>_And not seeing that loving you  
><em>_Is what I was trying to do_

She changed the song after the chorus because it really wasn't what she wanted to hear or be listening to.

Didn't I give it all?  
>Tried my best<br>Gave you everything I had

"What the chizz? No. Is my pod going through a depression or something? Give me something that… isn't this" She was about 5 seconds away from throwing the thing at the wall. Then she thought about it: that was the same way she broke the last one.

She didn't have the energy to look through all of those songs, she didn't know what she wanted to hear, it just wasn't that. She pressed the next button, yet again, hoping something good would come up with something.

_I can be tough  
><em>_I can be strong  
><em>_But with you  
><em>_It's not like that at all_

She wasn't a big Avril Lavigne fan, but it was something about this song. Though it was another kind of depressing song she decided to let this one play. She lied back in her position on the bed and let the words take over.

_There's a girl that gives a shit  
><em>_Behind this wall  
><em>_You just walk through it  
><em>_And I remember  
><em>

_All those crazy things you said  
><em>_You left them running threw my head  
><em>_You're always there  
><em>_You're everywhere  
><em>_But right now I wish you were here_

* * *

><p><strong>*Flashback*<strong>

**September 24, 2011 11:30 pm…**

**After they had been walking for what seemed to Sam like forever, they had finally reached Bushwell apartments. They walked inside in silence, looking at a sleeping Lubert at the desk.**

"**Aww doesn't he look so un-adorable when he's sleeping?" Sam said in a condescending voice.**

"**Yeah like a little ugly baby" Freddie said.**

**Sam laughed at this. "Nice one. Didn't know you had it in you"**

"**Well I learned from the best" Freddie responded.**

"**Why thank you very much" She said in a country accent and bowed in front of him.**

**Freddie was amused and smiled at his soon to be, in half an hour, ex-girlfiend. They walked up the stairs and got to the 8****th**** floor were they decide not to go to Carly's.**

"**Let's go anywhere that isn't here" Freddie suggested.**

"**Right behind you" Sam said.**

**Before they knew it they found themselves on the fire escape. Freddie opened the window.**

"**Ah the infamous fire escape" Sam said as she stepped out of the window. She looked out into the cold, damp night laced with drizzle.**

"**Yeah some amazing things have happened here" Freddie said.**

"**Yeah this where I made you feel less pathetic" Sam said.**

"**What are you talking about?" Freddie asked.**

"**Come on I know you are talking about our first kiss" Sam told him.**

"**I wasn't really thinking about it to be honest, but it's nice to see that you were" Freddie said with a smirk.**

"**No I wasn't" She said quickly.**

"**It's ok Sam" Freddie laughed.**

"**You know these lips rocked your world that night" Sam said confidently.**

"**Eh, could have been better" Sam shot him a look.**

"**Whatever" she simply said.**

"**I was actually referring to all the late night talks that we've had here, the times you really let me in" Freddie said.**

"**I knew it had something to do with me" Sam said and smiled. **

**Freddie took his phone out and checked the time.**

"**11:58" Freddie simply said.**

"**Huh?" Sam said as she found herself staring off again into the darkness that was only illuminated by street lights.**

"**I said it's 11:58, well 59 now" He repeated.**

"**Oh" Was all Sam said.**

**A silence fell. Sam didn't want to do this when it came down to it. The reasons why they thought that they needed to do this were clear to her and she agreed, but she had the feeling that this was mistake. She hoped deep-down Freddie would say something.**

**Sam felt Freddie's eyes on her but she didn't feel like looking back at him.**

"**Sam" Freddie broke the silence**

"**Freddork" Sam joked.**

"**Can you look at me?" She let out a deep sigh and turned around her head towards him.**

"**Dude why are we even acting like this is so hard, we already pre-agreed right and discussed it so it's cool" She said quickly wanting this part to be over.**

"**Exactly what I was thinking" He responded hesitantly.**

"**So you did an ok job at boyfriending, since you were kind of inexperienced I was expecting much" She said and held her hand out without thinking.**

"**Oh well thanks. You too. Wait I"ve had a girlfriend before" He said sarcastically rolling his eyes. He grabbed her held out hand.**

"**I said kind of" sam said**

**Instead of shaking her hand like she thought he would he pulled her into a kiss. Five seconds of knowing this was it for them. **

**They broke apart. "You're on a role with doing the unexpected tonight" Sam commented.**

"**I try, I try" Freddie said.**

**Silence. **

**"So can we go back to being friends?" Freddie said breaking it.**

"**Yeah, of course" She said simply. Freddie smiled at her.**

"**I'm going to go ahead and go in, you coming?" Freddie asked her. She shook her head and followed Freddie of the fire escape.**

**They walked down the hallway silently until they were in front of their apartments, now face-to-face**

**Sam waved at Freddie and turned around to go into the Shay apartment. **

"**Sam" She looked directly at him. "I love you"**

**She sighed deeply. "You know how I feel" Sam told him as she turned back around. She paused before touching the door knob and looked back at him once more. "So I'll see tomorrow?"**

"**Duh" Freddie said.**

**They waved each other off and she watched from the Shay's doorway as the brunette boy turned around and opened his door. "Fredward Benson, where have you been?" He was greeted by the annoying voice of his mother. He closed the door the behind him.**

**She closed the door behind her.**

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><p><strong>Earlier today… (February 10, 2012)<strong>

**Sam was so happy that the final bell had rang.**

"**Howard talked forever didn't he?" Sam told Carly who was standing next to her as she gathered her things.**

"**How would you know? You fell asleep like 5 minutes into class" Carly said.**

"**That's where you're wrong Carlotta Shay, I put my head down and was zoning in and out, not sleeping" Sam said.**

"**Ok come on" Carly urged.**

**They got halfway into the hallway when she realized she left her bag in the class and went back to get it. When she got to the door she came in on a conversation between Freddie and Olivia, a girl in their class.**

"**Oh really? That's great!" She jumped up and hugged him. "I was like a little skeptical of asking you because I know you just got out of a relationship"**

"**I've actually been out that relationship for about five months" Freddie told her.**

"**I was like does he still have feelings for her? Has he gotten over her?" Olvia said.**

"**Oh yeah, all my feelings for Sam are gone. I mean we're friends and we work together but that's as far as it goes. But the love and relationship feelings are completely gone" Freddie assured her.**

"**Really?" Olivia asked.**

"**Yeah I have no feelings for Samantha Puckett" Freddie said to her. "And I can't wait for our date tomorrow" She smiled at him.**

**The conversation between the two seemed to be over.**

**"Really dude? Really?" She mouthed to herself. That hurt her a little. Especially when a part of her still felt something for him.**

**She decided to let it all go. She walked in the class.**

**She walked past Freddie and Olivia. "Hey and Bye Sam" Olivia said to me. "I'm going to head out. Text me later"**

"**Of course" Freddie responded.**

**Sam snatched the pear pod out of her bag and hurriedly put the headphones in her ears. But who would she be didn't pick at Freddie?**

"**Aww nerd love! How cute" She said.**

**Freddie smiled at her. "It's not love, we're just going on a date"**

"**Same difference, but I have to admit for a nerd the chick is really pretty" She said.**

"**I know" Freddie practically gushed. It slightly sickened Sam.**

"**I wonder what's wrong with her" Sam said.**

"**Why do you think something's wrong with her?" **

"**The only a girl like that would go out with and like" She looked at him up and down. "You is if she has some mental issues" Freddie shot her a look.**

"**You did" Freddie said nicely.**

"**I checked myself into a mental hospital right after. So that should tell you something" Sam said as she turned on her music. Freddie made a face at her as she walked out, she made one back. She walked out into the hallway to see Carly waiting.**

"**What took you so long?" Carly asked her as she walked up. She put her music on pause.**

"**I got distracted by something" She said vaguely.**

"**Why so vague?" Carly asked concerned.**

"**I'm not I just don't feel like talking" Sam responded.**

"**Well Spencer will be here in a minute to pick us up so…"**

"**You know what Carly I don't feel like hanging out today, I think I'm just going to walk home" Sam told her. Carly's expression fell.**

"**What? Are you…"**

"**No"**

"**What about…"**

"**No"**

"**Is it…"**

"**No"**

"**How about…"**

"**No"**

"**But if…"**

"**No"**

**Sam, are you sure it's not…"**

"**No, no. None of the stuff you said is happening. I just want to go home to day" Sam assured her. Carly reached into her purse and gave her five dollars and told her to use it for bus fare.**

"**I don't want you walking so…" She told her.**

"**Thanks" She told her.**

**The two girls shared a hug. Sam grabbed a fat cake from her bag, cut her music back on and walked out of the school doors.**

***Flashback***

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><p>Sam was still lying on her bed. Not even realizing how much time had passed. Her music was still blasting in the room.<p>

Can we pretend that airplanes  
>In the night sky<br>Are like shooting stars?  
>I could really use a wish right now<br>Wish right now  
>Wish right now<p>

Could we pretend that airplanes  
>In the night sky<br>Are like shooting stars?  
>I could really use a wish right now<br>Wish right now  
>Wish right now<p>

She leaned over and looked at her cell phone to see that it was almost 11:00. She also saw 3 missed calls from Carly and some texts texts from Freddie, Wendy, and Spencer. She just threw the phone in her chair across the room, making the decision not to read any of it. She turned off her pod, got up and turned off her light. She didn't bother to change out of the clothes she wore to school. She just didn't feel like it, becoming too tired. Sam drifted off to sleep dreading what was coming when she went to the Carly's tomorrow.

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><p><strong>Freddie is an excellent liar! Or he could be telling the truth about his feelings, could be a possibility… I guess it's up to you guys to decide.<strong>

**Like I said was an idea I had floating around and I needed to clear my head of it. It's not my best, but it's finished. I'm 75% sure that this is going to end up a oneshot. **

**Hated it? Liked it? Loved it? Review!**

**Song choices:**

**Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most**

**Adele - Take It All**

**Avril Lavigne – Wish You Were Here**

**B.O.B ft. Hayley Williams – Airplanes**

**AM – Running Away**

**~Peace, Seddie, Strawberries~**


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